09-01-2019, 02:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-01-2019, 02:45 AM by Edward Haverston.)
It's constant...
That burning pit in your stomach. gnawing as if I had not had a meal in days. And even eating will not ease it.
I don't know what to do. I thought crawling into the depths under the Troll bridge would ease it, and at first, it did... but only so much bloodshed eases any hunger.
The tip of a quill seems to have rested here leaving a large blob of ink
My first class was given this evening. I was pleasantly surprised at the attendance received. They seemed to be engaged and willing to learn.. if not slightly.. intent on turning everything into some sort of sexual innuendo...
I'm ashamed to say I lost my temper... my old Brother Sergeant would have been proud of the language I used.
But by gods, they did learn, and it showed. I was particularly proud of Katya this evening, always seeming to be of some whimsical attitude.. flights of fancy and adventure.. and she did get adventure and lead very well. They all came together as a group and was able to move well within the confined halls and spaces. Facing each foe as it came at us.
It is during these times.. that I find myself not lost to that burning pit in my stomach and truly being who I am.. The Knight, a blade in my hand... walking that simple path, one of dedication and steadfast honor.
Until I feel that darkness dwelling and growing and I release it through my hands of course...
I tried something new this evening and shocked a few.. including myself. I am still unsure what I exactly did... the darkness dwells in me and it grows and I seem to embrace it and it me.
The only thing that keeps me from falling into a pit of despair at this point is the knowledge I do not slip from that razor's edge... I use only what I am given. I do not take from those whom do not deserve it... and I maintain a balance. At least I think... I do. Any more I am not fully sure.
The darkness is like a drug it pulls you into its embrace and does not wish to release you. That layered upon that beast that prowls in my depths... constant yearning to run free and what... ever has become of my hands.
I still cannot touch anything... If I do with bare flesh... rots away.. and crumbles into dust.
Dusty old.. historian.. that made me laugh. I think I surprised a few when I showed that I was more than just that and it was good to show that little bit of a fib to be false about me.
I'd likely have had my knuckles rapped soundly for telling a fib in the first place. But... This place. There is so many questions and so little answers.
I keep hoping diving myself into chapter and verse of anything I am able to find will aid me in learning,
Why are we here?
Perhaps learning that... I will understand myself better. Until then... I'll continue to slay those of whom intend to hurt others... fully knowing I am but a tip upon the razors edge of being the very thing I wish to balance.
And pray to any gods that will hear me... I do not find myself awake... one morn unable to return to my own mind... but stuck in this prowling beasts, just as it is stuck in mine.
That burning pit in your stomach. gnawing as if I had not had a meal in days. And even eating will not ease it.
I don't know what to do. I thought crawling into the depths under the Troll bridge would ease it, and at first, it did... but only so much bloodshed eases any hunger.
The tip of a quill seems to have rested here leaving a large blob of ink
My first class was given this evening. I was pleasantly surprised at the attendance received. They seemed to be engaged and willing to learn.. if not slightly.. intent on turning everything into some sort of sexual innuendo...
I'm ashamed to say I lost my temper... my old Brother Sergeant would have been proud of the language I used.
But by gods, they did learn, and it showed. I was particularly proud of Katya this evening, always seeming to be of some whimsical attitude.. flights of fancy and adventure.. and she did get adventure and lead very well. They all came together as a group and was able to move well within the confined halls and spaces. Facing each foe as it came at us.
It is during these times.. that I find myself not lost to that burning pit in my stomach and truly being who I am.. The Knight, a blade in my hand... walking that simple path, one of dedication and steadfast honor.
Until I feel that darkness dwelling and growing and I release it through my hands of course...
I tried something new this evening and shocked a few.. including myself. I am still unsure what I exactly did... the darkness dwells in me and it grows and I seem to embrace it and it me.
The only thing that keeps me from falling into a pit of despair at this point is the knowledge I do not slip from that razor's edge... I use only what I am given. I do not take from those whom do not deserve it... and I maintain a balance. At least I think... I do. Any more I am not fully sure.
The darkness is like a drug it pulls you into its embrace and does not wish to release you. That layered upon that beast that prowls in my depths... constant yearning to run free and what... ever has become of my hands.
I still cannot touch anything... If I do with bare flesh... rots away.. and crumbles into dust.
Dusty old.. historian.. that made me laugh. I think I surprised a few when I showed that I was more than just that and it was good to show that little bit of a fib to be false about me.
I'd likely have had my knuckles rapped soundly for telling a fib in the first place. But... This place. There is so many questions and so little answers.
I keep hoping diving myself into chapter and verse of anything I am able to find will aid me in learning,
Why are we here?
Perhaps learning that... I will understand myself better. Until then... I'll continue to slay those of whom intend to hurt others... fully knowing I am but a tip upon the razors edge of being the very thing I wish to balance.
And pray to any gods that will hear me... I do not find myself awake... one morn unable to return to my own mind... but stuck in this prowling beasts, just as it is stuck in mine.